Nov 08 2008
Guilty or Enjoy it
So this weekend is once again visitation, or as my kids call it “daddy weekend”. I always end up having mixed feelings on this one. Do I feel guilty for enjoying those two days to myself, or do I send them off, and enjoy the quiet time?
I know for the most part they will be okay, considering my ex’s past, believe me, I do have my worries. Other than the occasional argument, or words spoken before he thinks, they come home just fine. I make sure the kids talk to me about their weekend, not the third degree, but we talk about what they did. I just wish I didn’t feel that guilt I have about sending them, like what kind of mother are you sending your babies with that man? How can you have one iota of peace?
Then there is the part of me that comes to dream about the quietness for two days, of not hearing “but he touched me, but she breathed my air” type arguments. Granted, I work on these two days, but only for 5 hours on Saturday, and 5 hours on Sunday. Other than that, the house is mine, the snacks are mine, and most importantly, the video games are mine. I can run around naked, (long as I remember to put the curtains down of course). I can take two hour long baths without interruption. I can even watch an R rated movie!!
I simply wonder if it’s just me who has these mixed emotions about visitation weekends, or do others share in my turmoil? I think it’s time for me to just stop over thinking it too much, and just take it as it comes. I welcome any and all feedback on this one, send me your tips on how to avoid the guilt, or if not avoid, at least lesson it some. I also welcome any comments from other mothers, and fathers, who feel the same way.
Thanks for the comment!
Actually, I just saw an article on Yahoo about this. Someone had written a letter to a similar effect. In the end the response they received as advice was that, as sad as it is to see them go, and as partly scary as it is given an inherent distrust you have of his behaviors, enjoy it for what it is making it “you” time because mothers really don’t get breaks even though they likely deserve them the most.
Don’t know if that applies but I couldn’t help but make the connection to share.
Thanks, it’s something I need to remind myself of constantly. I really do need that “me” time every now and then.