Mother For Life

 I remember when I was in school, elementary school mind you, there was always one or two bullies. They were usually the biggest kids in class, and what they said went. Everyone was in awe of the bullies, of their power, and you never ratted a bully out. Of course back then, a bully might shove you down, give out wedgies, or take your lunch money. The new and unimproved bully of today can be much more dangerous.

My middle son ran into one of these bullies this past summer. This kid started out harassing my son and his friend by following them around town, calling them names and making fun of them. My son followed my advice, and every time the kid would say something, in the most bland voice he could my son would say “and”? I had told my son part of a bully’s rush was the power he had to get a rise out of you. If you handle it as if it’s no big deal, no matter what he says, eventually he moves on.

However this bully decided to try new tactics. As he went on to the shoving of both my son and his friend, he also pulled a four inch pocket knife out and threatened to stab my son. Of course both boys knew at that point to run home immediately to me.

Now again, this is where old school bullies differ from today’s bullies. Back then, you didn’t go to a bully’s parent unless you absolutely had to. Today, if you don’t go to a parent, things go out of control. Of course the first thing I did was go to this boys house. It unfortunately did me no good to talk to his parents. Mom is out of the picture, and dad was worse then the son. I ended up having to call the police and getting a restraining order against this boy. Luckily, he was taken out of the home at summers end, and won’t be back.

It’s just as bad up in the middle school where my daughter is. I cringe when I hear her talking about what other students have done. She is my follower child, so she is also the one I need to constantly remind her how it would feel if she were the one picked on.  These girls can be nasty little cretins. I have heard them talking, I’ve even caught them and jumped in a few times.

With all the picking on that goes on during and after school hours, it’s no wonder I won’t allow my children to have emails or any other site membership. I let my daughter have an email for school, until my boyfriend caught what was being said by these girls. The language, the adult material being passed back and forth. Including the plans of who was going to be their “victim” the next day.

Again, I suppose my strict parenting comes into play here. In my house, you have no privacy. I won’t go snooping unless given reason, but I will do it. I will also be the parent that not only steps in when I hear something, but I will drag other parents into it as well. Sadly, I have only met a handful of parents like me in my town. Most use the phrase “kids will be kids”.  Maybe back when we were kids that was true, now however, it should be rephrased “kids will be adults”.

You can either hide your head, or you can pay attention. Whether its your child being picked on, or your child is the bully, either way you should know. Watch who your child hangs out with, get to know the other parents if possible.  As for the Internet, if you know me, you know I am 100% against websites for kids such as Myspace, Yearbook, and Facebook.  If you disagree with me, stay tuned for tomorrows post as I show you just a few of the dangers. It’s a doozy.

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