Mother For Life

Whether you are upper class, lower class, wealthy as sin, or poorer than a mouse, family values are really what it boils down to this time of year. I’m having a very hard time this year, I will admit it. Since my family has become so split up, the holidays are always hard, but I’ve always had my kids to get me through. This year it changes a bit, as the ex husband gets them from Christmas Eve Day, all the way through Friday. The kids and I will be celebrating Christmas Eve morning, as I can’t see doing it two days after Christmas.

I was raised by my grandmother, and holidays were always a big deal. It was never about the presents with her. It meant no matter where you were, you came to her house for the holidays. Relatives drove for six hours to spend days camped out all over the house. Ever since she became ill, and has since passed away, there hasn’t been one holiday we get together.  No more big meals with the guys watching television and helping the kids put together toys, while the women and young girls were in the kitchen cooking. No more loud arguments over who gets the last piece of pie. No more uncles drinking so much they pass out and snore. No more gatherings period.  I miss that so much.

This year, I go without my grandmother(she passed away four years ago), my step father who I adored passed away last year, my kids won’t be here, my boyfriend cannot be here, although I know he will do the best he can. Of course the rest of my family won’t either.  So yeah, I’m in a bit of a poor poor me mood. Trying my best to get out of it, but it’s really kicking my arse this year. I haven’t been alone at Christmas since…well, never. I don’t think I’m going to like this one bit.

It’s partially my own fault, I know this. It’s just something I need to get through. I just wanted to share my little situation with those of you who complain about the hours cooking, the messy families, the arguments, and every thing else. Please don’t complain this year. Do your damn best to make it a wonderful time. Appreciate your family, it really is true that you never know what you got until it’s gone. I knew what I had even at a young age, and that makes it even harder to be alone this year.

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