Jan 19 2009
Visitation lessons…what not to teach
My children came back last night from their “daddy weekend” full of new phrases and information about mom (aka me). Of course, once I heard the new information, I immediately informed all three children if I ever hear any of those phrases come out of their mouths, it’s a soap bar in the mouth for a week!
Let’s start with phrase one: jack me off. I’m not exactly sure what context this was used in, and really don’t care. It’s simply not something you teach children to say. Of course, it was left to me to explain in part to my ten year old son what it mean and why we don’t say it.
Phrase two: my daughter wouldn’t finish her milk, so my ex told her the following “A cow had her udders squeezed for that last bit of milk for a girl who won’t even drink it. All girls who don’t drink their milk should have their udders squeezed“. Of course, my son worded it a bit different, but either way it’s yet another thing we don’t say to children, especially an 11 year old girl just coming into puberty.
Now this last part, well lets just say the man and I will be laughing for years on this one. Apparently my daughter turned her nose up at a generic snack or food. At which point my ex told her “You’re getting to be just like your mother, a gold digger. Someone should warn that boyfriend of hers that she’s just using him for his money. She’ll suck him dry and throw him away, because that’s what she does”.
That was just too funny not to share. If I am a gold digger, then I am horrible at it! I didn’t get anything in the divorce but my children. He was the one who got the house, the furniture, and no paying alimony. As to my boyfriend, well I love you hun, but you aren’t exactly rolling in the dough yet. The man says it was a jealousy comment, I say it was just another way to try and put me down to my children.
It’s one thing to dislike your ex, most of us do. There is a line however, and this wannabe man keeps crossing it. So please, for all of you divorced or even never married parents, try and keep your evil hateful thoughts to yourself. Your children will grow up and realize the truth on their own, they don’t need you to try and influence them.
Hopefully karma starts catching up to him soon, I’m running out of patience.
Oh my! I think I would have been shocked! I think many men use that gold digger statement out of hurt.
That’s just reprehensible, and I think someone’s gotten (or already was; hard to tell from context) a bit misogynistic. (One wonders what he would say to a boy who doesn’t drink his milk.)
I’m a child of divorce myself, father custodial, and…. well, the more I look over this article, the more grateful I am about how civil my parents were. The only real times I’ve seen one side get into those kinds of fighting words, it’s been because of something that we could all verify was going on, and most of those were after I was old enough to figure out the situation myself.
If there’s something that can be done, I’d say it should be; that’s sounding like a pretty poisonous environment there.
The way I figure is this: someday my children will grow up. They will come to the conclusion on their own what a horrible man he is, no need to rub it in their faces now.
I’ll just keep biting holes in my cheeks..
This is SO NOT OK!!! You shouldn’t put up with this. I would contact my lawyer if I were you… That’s horrible!
I would be furious and frankly I don’t know what I’d do but he definitely would be on my s*&^ list.