Mother For Life

This weekend is the kids weekend with the ex. Funny how it always seems to fall on a holiday, isn’t it. So once again, I will be spending a holiday alone. You would think I would be used to it after over a year of this whole “visitation” crap he gets, but I’m not. So forgive me if I am sounding a bit bitter. However, on a good note about the kids being with him this weekend, it gives me a chance to get some money together so we can celebrate Easter NEXT weekend together.

When I say I need to get the money together, I’m not talking about spending $60 on Easter baskets, or $50 on Easter clothes just so they can go to a church and look fancy. Oh, and those amounts are per child mind you. No, I’m talking about getting money together so I can cook a full holiday dinner. The rest will be just extras. Yes, I will get the kids Easter baskets, but just little ones. I’ve never been the type to go overboard when it comes to spending money on things like that. It’s useless and reeks of being hypocritical.

For me the sadness this weekend comes not from being broke, but being alone. Where have all the family times gone? Why is it that there are no more phone calls at the bum crack of dawn to wish someone a good holiday? Surfing through my blogs I follow, I found quite a few talking about the money, the church, the presents. But not too many were talking about the family get together.

It seems to me that with times as tough as they are, people should spend more time getting back into the whole family thing. I miss that so much. I miss spending hours cooking in the kitchen while the men are watching t.v. or building something. I miss hearing the stories of the older generations, of times back when.

So as you get yourself dressed in your fancy clothes tomorrow, as you pass out your expensive presents and baskets, as you sit with strangers in church you only go to on major holidays, perhaps you might pick up the phone and call a relative to wish them a good day as well. After all, family is what its all supposed to be about.

As for me, I will be sitting here thinking of my children and writing my little heart out.

***UPDATE***

After preparing myself for the alone holiday, after not having anything in the house for Easter dinner, the ex had the nerve to call and try and get out of his weekend with the kids. Claims he’s sick… Ha!!  nice try bucko..  No way am I disappointing these kids after all the fighting I had to go through to get them to spend Easter with him.. Still sending them, hopefully things go well..

Now that life is finally settling back down in our new place, I decided it was time to make some homemade meals again, boy did I miss that. Normally I don’t share recipes or write about them. But this one is so kid friendly, and equals clean plates that I just have to. My kids simply love my spaghetti sauce, plus I make enough to freeze a bit for another day.

Mom’s Spaghetti Sauce

2 small cans tomato paste (add another can for thicker sauce if you prefer)

2 large cans tomato sauce

3 cans tomato soup

2 medium cans stewed tomatoes

2 cups of water

1/4 c of brown sugar

2 lbs ground beef (or ground whatever you prefer)

2 t chili powder

garlic powder,salt, pepper

Brown meat and place in bottom of crock pot. I use the 5 quart pot. Open all cans and add to meat. Add in your water and seasonings. Feel free to add in your own personal favorites, I like to keep it simple for the kids.  Stir together well. Add in the brown sugar last. Cover and simmer on low for 5 hours. Makes enough for two pounds of noodles, in my family that’s two dinners.

I use the brown sugar as an acid reducer since I am so sensitive when it comes to tomato based sauces.  You can also do this in a large pan on your stove, simply simmer on low for 2 hours. Make sure to cool down the extra before freezing.  There you have it, a simply kid friendly sauce that will have them asking for seconds.

Even in my sleep deprived state, with all the moving and packing and unpacking, my children still know who’s the parent in this household. I have never let my children tell me what to do.  I ask for their input, their opinions, but in the end we all know who makes the final decision.

The whole reason for the this little rant of mine was the two separate incidents I witnessed at work two days ago. The first occurred early in the morning and to me was an extreme break of the parent-child rules. A young mother came into my uniform store with her  little girl about four years old I’d say. The young child immediately started running around the store, tearing items off my display cases, ripping clothes off their hangers. The mother proceeded to chase her around the store. Each time she caught up to her, they had the same conversation.

Mother - “Get back here, we don’t do that”.

Child - “You let go of my coat”.

Mother - “Please stay with me”.

Child - “You don’t touch me”.

The mothers tone was pleading, almost begging the child to listen to her. The daughter spoke in the most stern voice I have ever heard come from such a tiny body. It was if their roles in life were reversed. This little girl was boss, and she knew it. Eventually after 20 minutes of this, and a wreck in my store, they left. There was no apologies involved, the mother never bought what she needed, and she never made the little girl clean up her own mess. If that had been one of my own children, there would have been hell to pay. I remember when my youngest ran from me in a store once, ONCE. I caught up to him, swatted his behind once, looked him right in the eye and told him he was to stay with me, end of story. We all have children misbehave, it happens. However, its all in how you deal with the situation.

The next incident might not seem as bad, but it was more disturbing in my eyes than the first. An older woman came in with her teenage son, looking for new uniforms for herself. These two acted more like boyfriend and girlfriend than mother and son. She not only asked for his opinions, but only tried on what he picked out. He kept reminding her of things she had to get done that day. From shopping items, to things she had to clean at home.  Her only responses to him were “Oh that’s right”.

Now who knows, maybe she’s new to taking care of herself, maybe she was having a breakdown. I don’t know. I do know that again, the child was the parent, and the parent the child. Or something else in this case. Being a single mother myself, I’ve gone shopping with my children. I’ve even shown them my outfits, and had them help me pick out some things. But I have never had them take care of my every day decisions, that is not their role in life. I do feel bad for that family. I hope whatever her situation was or is, that its not as evil as my mind was taking it to, and that she gets her act together soon so her son can be the teen he’s supposed to be.